Prone to darker moods when the moon was full and her local donut shop had sold their last chocolate-covered turnip cruller, Melvina would lift her spirits by spending the afternoon reading her most favored excerpts from The Psychology of Mostly Norwegian Ostriches and pondering whether - should the book ever be made into a movie - Brad Pitt would consider the enticing role of Ásbjorn, the elusive yet mysteriously handsome Struthio rancher.